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I recently sat down with a large leadership team from a global brand to talk about their internal communication challenges.
We’d already traded emails and met virtually. But face-to-face, I asked each person a simple question:
What do you think the real problem is?
I heard different answers, and there was a fair amount of disagreement.
But what struck me was how comfortably they disagreed. No one interrupted, took control, or needed to have the “right” answer.
Instead, they listened to one another, challenged ideas, and allowed the conversation to unfold.
Together, we uncovered a more precise picture of the problem, which meant I could build training around what they actually needed.
What many people don’t realize is that the ability to disagree well is a leadership skill.
This newsletter is about how to make disagreement more productive, thoughtful, and a lot less personal.
We’ll cover:
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Why Disagreement Feels Like Danger
When someone disagrees with us, even gently, our brain can register it as a threat.
It may be connected to the social pain overlap, the idea that social rejection and physical pain can activate some of the same brain regions.
Thousands of years ago, being pushed out of a small group could mean losing access to food, shelter, and protection. Social connection was tied to survival.
So our brains may still sound the alarm when we feel socially disconnected, even when there’s no real threat.
This Week's Tip: Name It, Question It, Hold It
1. Name the Agreement First
Most disagreements start with the gap. Start with the overlap, or what you agree with.
Instead of: "I don't think that's right."
Try: "I agree with where you're headed, but I see it playing out differently."
How to do this in practice: Find the one piece of their point you genuinely agree with, and say it out loud before you say anything else. If you can’t find the overlap, use tip 2.
2. Question Before You Counter
The fastest way to escalate a disagreement is to argue against a position before you understand it.
Instead of countering immediately, ask one real question about their reasoning.
Instead of: "I don't think that's the right call, here's why..."
Try: "What made you land there?" or "What would make you change your mind?"
How to do this in practice: Ask one clarifying question before you offer your own view. (The same rule applies even if you're sure you already understand the other person’s argument it, because it builds respect.)
3. Hold Your Position Without Holding the Room Hostage
Being right isn't the same as being effective or getting to a shared outcome. The goal isn't to win the exchange, it's to be heard, stay in the relationship, and achieve the collective goal.
Instead of: "Like I said, I really think we should go this way..." (repeated three different ways)
Try: "Here's where I land. I'll leave it there."
How to do this in practice: Say your point once. Then stop talking and let the silence do some of the work.
This Week's Laugh
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Now for this week's funny:
Blu Dot surpasses 2,000% ROAS with self-serve CTV ads
Home furniture brand Blu Dot blew up on CTV with help from Roku Ads Manager. Here’s how:
After a test campaign reached 211,000 households and achieved 1,010% ROAS, the brand went all in to promote its annual sales event. It removed age and income constraints to expand reach and shifted budget to custom audiences and retargeting, where intent was strongest.
The results speak for themselves. As Blu Dot increased their investment by 10x, ROAS jumped to 2,308% and more page-view conversions surpassed 50,000.
“For CTV campaigns, Roku has been a top performer,” said Claire Folkestad, Paid Media Strategist, Blu Dot. “Comping to our other platforms, we have seen really strong ROAS… and highly efficient CPMs, lower than any other CTV partner we've worked with.”
Using Roku Ads Manager, the campaign moved from a pilot to a permanent performance engine for the brand.
