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A client recently asked why I thought his junior team wasn't winning new business.
He told me they knew the agency's talking points and each had an impressive résumé.
I asked if he'd ever listened to one of their pitches.
"I don't think that's the problem," he said.
So I asked him a different question:
"Well, how do you teach them to read the room?"
He paused.
"Shouldn't they just figure that out on their own?"
The truth is, reading the room isn't instinctive.
It's a skill that's rarely taught, yet it often determines whether someone feels understood, builds trust, and ultimately wins business.
This week's newsletter is about a skill that's becoming more valuable as AI becomes more capable.
We will cover:
Egocentric Bias
The psychological reason we don't always read the room is called egocentric bias.
Our brains have direct access to our own thoughts and emotions, but not anyone else's.
So we naturally use ourselves as the starting point when interpreting situations.
(If you're thinking, "I don't do this, but I know someone who does," that might be your egocentric bias talking.)
The good news is that reading the room is a skill you can learn!
At its core, reading the room means shifting your attention away from yourself and onto the other person.
It matters just as much in a sales pitch as it does in an everyday conversation.
This Week’s Tips: Diagnose, Confirm, Adapt
1. Diagnose
Stop pitching. Start diagnosing.
Before launching into your prepared talking points, ask one question that uncovers what the other person actually cares about.
Think about how a doctor approaches a patient.
They don't begin by listing their credentials or explaining every treatment they offer. They start by understanding the problem.
Try:
"What's the biggest challenge you're trying to solve right now?"
Then build your response around their answer.
If you give the same pitch regardless of what they say, you aren't communicating. You're performing.
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2. Confirm
Don't assume you're reading the room correctly. Confirm it.
Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues as you speak.
Are they leaning in and asking follow-up questions? Or are they looking away and giving short responses?
Instead of guessing what those signals mean, ask.
Try:
"I'm getting the sense this may not be the most relevant issue for you. Am I reading that right?"
3. Adapt
Be willing to change your message mid-conversation.
If someone reacts strongly to one idea, do not force your way through the rest of your presentation. Check in with them.
Say:
"I feel like you reacted to that. Tell me more about what's happening there."
The goal isn't to prove you know the material, it’s to make the other person feel understood.
This Weeks Funny:
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