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A Chief Solutions Officer recently told me about a tricky situation she found herself in at work.
She was in the middle of someone else’s fight.
The founder she worked for and a key external vendor were quarreling over an unpaid bill.
The founder was irritated and wanted to take legal action.
The vendor felt a minor issue made the whole bill unfair and wanted it recalculated.
The CSO could have taken her boss’s side and just called a lawyer.
Or she could have taken the half-step of speaking to the vendor and threatening them with legal action.
Instead, she stepped back and looked for a better solution.
After a few interactions with both, she negotiated a slight discount for the vendor in exchange for a guaranteed payment plan for the founder.
She didn’t confuse working for someone with adopting their position.
That’s what we’re talking about this week: how to think like a peacemaker.
It doesn’t mean agreeing with everyone or avoiding conflict.
Being a peacemaker means actively working to understand the different sides and looking for a way forward.
We’ll cover:
Taking Sides
There’s a psychological reason it’s hard for us to stay neutral.
Research shows we are programmed, as young as 2 years old, to categorize people as “us” and “them.”
And we expect “us” to support us in a conflict regardless of the facts.
In other words, when someone pulls you into a disagreement, taking their side can feel less like a choice and more like a demonstration of loyalty.
The challenge is resisting that instinct long enough to think independently.
How to Become the Peacemaker
1. Separate the person from the position.
When someone brings you a disagreement, listen for what the person actually wants.
Instead of asking yourself: “Who is right?”
Ask yourself: “What does this person actually care about?”
Someone fighting over money might care about fairness. Someone angry about a decision might care about having a voice.
You can't always solve who is right, but you can start by understanding what both sides need to resolve the issue.
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2. Validate before you solve.
You don't have to agree with someone's version of events to acknowledge that their perspective makes sense to them.
The CSO told both parties the same thing before she found a solution.
“I can understand why you see it that way.”
That isn't taking either side. It's showing each party that you've heard them.
And when people feel heard, they can become more open to solutions.
3. Look for the third option.
Most disagreements become: My way vs. your way.
The peacemaker asks: “Is there another way to solve the problem?”
That's what the CSO did. She didn't decide whether the founder or vendor was right.
She found an option neither had proposed.
When you stop asking, “Whose side am I on?” you are creating room for a much more useful question:
“What could work for everyone?”
And sometimes that's where the real solution starts.
This Week’s Funny:
What should I cover next week?
AI made PMs faster. Multiplayer mode is still broken.
A PM can summarize research, draft a PRD, and mock up a prototype before lunch. The hard part starts when the team has to decide what actually gets built.
Jira Product Discovery gives product teams one place to capture insights, prioritize ideas with consistent frameworks, and build living roadmaps stakeholders can rally around.
And because it’s connected to Jira, the context behind every decision stays with the work—so developers and their agents know not just what to build, but why.
AI helps PMs move faster. Jira Product Discovery helps the whole team build with confidence.
