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If you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you've noticed that I usually teach through tips.
That's how my TikTok community grew to more than 240,000 people in less than a year.
I started the tips because I believe small changes in how we communicate can create big changes in how the world responds to us.
When I'm coaching executives one-on-one or leading team workshops, I set up tips by teaching frameworks.
While a tip helps you solve one situation, a framework helps you navigate the next hundred by giving structure to interactions.
This week, I want to share what I call the V.I.P. Framework.
The V.I.P. Framework is about deciding that every person deserves your attention, curiosity, and respect before you've determined whether or not they can do something for you.
The clients I've seen embrace this mindset don't just end up with stronger networks, they are happier and more connected to the people around them.
In today’s newsletter we will cover:
Prestige Bias
The VIP Framework
This Week’s Funny
Prestige Bias
There's a reason most of us instinctively pay more attention to people with power.
For thousands of years, the people with the highest status often had access to food, protection, and opportunity.
Getting on their good side improved our chances of survival.
We don't live in that world anymore, but the instinct toward prestige bias is still there.
The V.I.P. Framework is about resisting that instinct.
When you stop deciding whether someone is "worth" your attention, conversations become less transactional. You are more likely to discover something interesting about the person in front of you.
Ironically, that's often when the most meaningful relationships begin.
A few examples from my own life:
A dad I knew through my eldest son was the first person to hire me to train an executive team
A former intern I once managed hired me to coach the founder of a billion dollar company
One of my largest global clients was arranged via a woman I met in a motherhood class
None of those relationships started because I thought they would help my career.
They became opportunities because they started as relationships.
If this was forwarded to you and you want weekly insights like this:
The V.I.P. Framework
When I teach this framework to clients, my hope is that one letter sticks.
The goal is to notice which part feels least natural to you and practice it until it becomes part of who you are.
Frameworks aren't meant to be memorized. They're meant to change the way you see the world.
V — Value people before you need them.
Don't reserve your best attention for senior leaders or important clients. Learn the names of new hires. Ask thoughtful questions of the assistant who scheduled the meeting.
Be just as engaged with the junior analyst presenting the intro slides as you are with the executive giving the keynote.
I — Invest in everyday moments.
Relationships aren't solely built only during networking events, conferences, or team meetings. They're built in the five minutes before a meeting starts, the follow-up text after someone shares good news, or the quick check-in after a difficult presentation.
Small deposits made consistently create trust.
P — Practice generosity without expectation.
Make introductions that don't benefit you. Share credit publicly. Offer advice without keeping score. Help because it's the right thing to do, not because you expect a favor in return.
As you go through your week, pick one. If one part of the framework changes the way you treat even a single person this week, it has done its job.
This week’s funny:
Interested in working together or sponsoring this newsletter? Email me at [email protected].
Now for your funny:
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