When I posted this video about avoiding a question, it hit 526K views.
The comments? Not kind.
When someone dodges a question, we assume one thing: they’re being dishonest.
But here’s the part no one wants to talk about. Sometimes answering directly is the wrong move.
Not because you’re hiding something, but because other factors are at play:
the information is sensitive
it’s not yours to share
it shifts the conversation to somewhere you don’t want it to go
In those moments, most people either overshare or they deflect awkwardly and lose trust.
But there’s a better option, and that’s what this issue is about:
Why “being direct” can actually hurt you
We’re taught that being direct builds trust.
But in high-stakes moments, a fully direct answer can backfire.
A lesson I teach almost every executive I work with is that people aren’t always judging your answer. Sometimes they are judging your judgment.
If you answer too directly you might:
overshare
introduce new concerns
lose control of the conversation
If this makes you think of someone, send it to them.
The 3-step bridge to keep you in control
1. Acknowledge the question
Show you heard it without avoiding it.
Say:
“That’s a good question”
“I understand why you’re asking that”
2. Bridge to what matters
Move to the point you do want to make.
Say:
“What’s important to focus on is…”
“What I can share is…”
“The bigger picture here is…”
Quick favor. Vote honestly:
3. Deliver your message
Make your point clearly and succinctly.
This is where most people lose control by saying too much.
Keep it tight.
Aim for:
one clear idea
one sentence if possible
Avoid:
over-explaining
adding unnecessary detail
reopening the original question
This week’s laugh
If you have a presentation, panel, or media appearance coming up, this is exactly what I work on with clients.
Recently, I helped someone who kept getting cut off before they could finish their point.
We simplified their message to three sentences, and the next time, they delivered it without interruption.
We’ll focus on your challenge and make it land.
Email me at [email protected]
And now this week’s laugh on avoiding a question:
