A couple months ago, a pretty well-known reality TV star messaged me. She said she needed help organizing her thoughts on camera — because her rambling gave editors too much ammunition to make her look like the villain.

This is one of my favorite parts of what I do. I love meeting new people. It’s why I became a journalist and spent almost 20 years traveling the world in network news. Now, my TikTok connects me with interesting clients like her from all over the world.

In our first call, I immediately diagnosed a few issues, which are universal for most people who struggle organizing their thoughts. In this week’s newsletter, we will explore these issue by focusing on:

Whether it was NBC, ABC or CBS, network news taught me structure, which is the antidote to rambling.

Every story I wrote had to have a clear beginning, middle, and end. The same rules apply when you’re telling a story in a meeting, answering a question on a panel, or even explaining an idea at dinner.

The reason smart people ramble is because they’re thinking out loud, and their brains see multiple angles, nuances, and exceptions all at once. They often over-explain to be precise and prove they’ve done the thinking. With this week’s tip, I will teach you how to self edit.

So how do you edit yourself in real time? The first step I use when I’m training clients is to have them practice responding to a question on an exhale. Most rambling starts on an inhale because we feel pressured to respond quickly. When you allow for an inhale before you answer, you force yourself to pause. That quick break gives you a chance to structure what you are about to say.

ABC: Answer, Brief detail, Close. During your inhale, strategize the headline to your answer in one sentence. The next sentence is a brief detail, which is usually the reason for your answer, or an example of your answer. Finally, close the loop on whatever you said, and let the other person speak again.

Click on the video below for an example of the ABC method.

Can you use ABC for an entire conversation? I don’t recommend it. You shouldn’t use ABC for an entire conversation, or any other communication method for that matter, because it will feel disingenuous. But it’s a great way to start and to streamline a response if you are nervous.

What if no one asks me a question? Structure and editing still apply. Instead of ABC, think Point → Pause. You offer one idea, then create space.

Example:

Rather than: “I’ve been thinking a lot about this and there are a few things…”

Try: “I think the real issue is timing.” Then you pause. If they want more, they’ll pull it out of you.

Editing your speech not only makes you sound smarter and more decisive, it makes it easier for others to remember your message and act on it.

Next week, why acting dumb in conversations is actually quite smart. I will explain how this kind of power move is more effective than being a know-it-all if you want people to open up and share more.

Thank you for reading this. If you know someone who could benefit from practical communication tips, I hope you’ll share it with them. If you are interested in private or team coaching email me at [email protected].